উপন্যাস - যদি জানতেম

Ever since I was a child, I have had a special passion for three things - cooking different kinds of things, going around, and writing down some of the things that happen around me on a diary page. Dad, Mom, and my elder brother always cooperated.

It is true that I never dared to write stories or novels because I did not know how to write them. I understood that the work was very difficult. At the age of fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, the writings of Rabindra Nath, Sarat Chandra, and Bankim Chandra impressed me so much that "I can try to write once I get the chance" - such a promise I once made myself unknowingly!

In the three years of college life after finishing school, the writings of Tarashankar Bandyopadhyay, Prabodh Sanyal, Bimal Mitra, Ashapurna Devi, Shankar, and above all my late father 'Jarasandha' seemed to stir me up. Needless to say, I started preparing to write in my mind. After passing the BA examination with honors, it can be said that it is a family decision to set foot in domestic life. In the first few years of my married life, I saw that no personal desire could be given priority.

Then in late 1975, while I was almost drowning in the sea of domestic chores in Bombay, my father came to visit me. At that time, I got a chance to understand and know him very closely. One day, he said with some frustration and annoyance, "I know, you have to take care of the family and the boys, but don't get rid of your cooking and diary writing habits. It's hard for me to think that none in the family has thought of writing."

Baba's (My father’s) words made me think. I said with a little courage in my mind, "Baba, I can't write anything by cooking up things from nothing or my imagination. Where is the subject of writing for me? You had a thrilling career spanning thirty-six long years. You have effortlessly written down the fancy experiences that have been there. How many of us have the same fate?" In response, Baba's words sounded like my prophecy. "Khuku, don't put fate in the middle. How do you know what your life will be like ten years from now? Who can say if you will be forced to take a pen and paper one day? Keep a straight eye on what's going on around you. Some things in life cannot be suppressed. One day its outburst is inevitable. Keep your writing intent alive."

I did not understand that my father's words would come true one day. "If I Knew (Jodi Jantem)" was born on January 2, 1992. Since then, it has taken a long time to overcome many obstacles and bring a new child to the stage of adulthood that means to publish the book from its manuscript stage. "If I knew" are stories or novels or diaries would be judged by countless readers. I promise to accept staunch criticism and overwhelming praises with open hands.

- Ratna Chatterjee